1. You sit Next to a cute girl in a Bus.
You offer to pay for her fare then ask for her
number Only for her to tell you,
"Sorry I dont share my number with strangers''
.
2. You divorce Your Wife only to find that she
Got married to your Neighbour next Door..
.
3. When you Notice Someone's zip Is open and
You dont know how to tell them BeCoz You
have no Reason to look there.
.
4. When you Wave Back just to Realise that the
Person was waving at someone Else
.
5. When you are with friends and you step aside
to fart Only for them to follow you.
.
6. When you think that Every place You go
Smells shit, only to Realise It's you Who stepped
on Shit..
.
7. When you have an Erection Infront of your
Audience..
.
8. When you are watching a movie with your
parents and the Actors start Kissing and
Undressing then you try to press >Next>> with
the remote only to find that there are no
Batteries....
.
9. You tell 'Someone' Bye then you start walking
in the same direction...
.
Monday, 2 May 2016
Friday, 29 April 2016
THE UGLY DIFFERENCESBy~Sahej Sahni
The ugly difference was,
She meant something to me.
But I was her everything.
The ugly difference was,
She could make me happy.
But I could make her sad.
The ugly difference was,
She held some space in my heart.
But I filled hers to the brim.
The ugly difference was,
She was the sparkle in my night.
But I was her night sky.
The ugly difference was,
She was the spark to my fire.
But I was her fuel.
She meant something to me.
But I was her everything.
The ugly difference was,
She could make me happy.
But I could make her sad.
The ugly difference was,
She held some space in my heart.
But I filled hers to the brim.
The ugly difference was,
She was the sparkle in my night.
But I was her night sky.
The ugly difference was,
She was the spark to my fire.
But I was her fuel.
FAR OFF~By Sahej Sahni
Take me far off,
So I never come back.
Where I don't have to look her into the eye.
Or witness her ghosts when she passes by.
Take me far off,
So I never come back.
Or wipe the times, when I made her whole.
I'm down in my weight, how do I carry her
soul?
Take me far off,
So I never come back.
Where no one seeks answers.
Baby, will you ever see my monsters?
Take me far off,
So I never come back.
And I'm not your angel, open your eyes.
Wipe the glass, here stands the devil in
disguise.
So I never come back.
Where I don't have to look her into the eye.
Or witness her ghosts when she passes by.
Take me far off,
So I never come back.
Or wipe the times, when I made her whole.
I'm down in my weight, how do I carry her
soul?
Take me far off,
So I never come back.
Where no one seeks answers.
Baby, will you ever see my monsters?
Take me far off,
So I never come back.
And I'm not your angel, open your eyes.
Wipe the glass, here stands the devil in
disguise.
YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING
You Mean The World To Me
You mean the world to me
Nothing will ever come between us
No matter what anybody says or does
You will always be in my heart
Forever and ever
Your spot will never be replaced
You hold the key to my heart
And you have since we met
I will love you forever
And no matter how much we fight
Things will be ok
Like I said I will love you forever
No matter what
You mean the world to me
Nothing will ever come between us
No matter what anybody says or does
You will always be in my heart
Forever and ever
Your spot will never be replaced
You hold the key to my heart
And you have since we met
I will love you forever
And no matter how much we fight
Things will be ok
Like I said I will love you forever
No matter what
HOW TO KEEP A GIRL FOREVER
1.Making Her Feel Special
- Act respectful when you are with her
- Compliment her and be genuine about it
- Let her know she is on your mind
- Surprise her with romantic gestures
- Have fun and make her laugh
- Be affectionate
2. Being the Best Partner For Her
- Keep your promises
- Confide in her about things
- Be sensitive to her feelings
- Be willing to compromise
- Communicate effectively
- Balance your time together
- Act respectful when you are with her
- Compliment her and be genuine about it
- Let her know she is on your mind
- Surprise her with romantic gestures
- Have fun and make her laugh
- Be affectionate
2. Being the Best Partner For Her
- Keep your promises
- Confide in her about things
- Be sensitive to her feelings
- Be willing to compromise
- Communicate effectively
- Balance your time together
YOUR GOOD ACTUALLY PAYS
A woman baked bread for members of her family
and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept
the extra bread on the Window-sill, for
whosoever
would take it away. Everyday, a hunch-back
came and took away the bread. Instead of
expressing gratitude, he muttered the following
words as he went his way: "The evil you do
remains with you: The good you do, comes back
to you!" This went on, day after day. Everyday,
the hunch-back came, picked up the bread and
uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains
with
you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The
woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude,"
she said to herself... "Everyday this hunch-back
utters this jingle! What does he mean? "One day,
out of despiration, she decided to do away with
him. "I shall get rid of this hunch-back," she
said. And what did she do? She added poison to
the bread she prepared for him! As she was
about to keep it on the window sill, her hands
trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said.
Immediately she threw the bread into the fire,
prepared another one and kept it on the
window-
sill. As usual, the hunch-back came, picked up
the bread and muttered the words: "The evil you
do, remains with you: The good you do, comes
back to you!" The hunch-back proceeded on his
way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the
mind of the woman. Everyday, as the woman
placed the bread on the window-sill, she offered
a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant
place to seek his fortune. For many months, she
had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe
return. That evening, there was a knock on the
door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find
her son standing in the doorway.. He had grown
thin and lean. His garments were tattered and
torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he
saw his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm
here. While I was but a mile away, I was so
hungry that I collapsed. I would have died, but
just then an old hunch-back passed by. I begged
of him for a small part of his food, and he was
kind enough to give me whole bread. "As he
gave it to me, he said, "This is what I eat
everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your
need is greater than mine!" "As the mother heard
those words, her face turned pale and red. She
leaned against the door for support. She
remembered the poisoned bread that she had
made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the
fire, it would have been eaten by her own son,
and he would have lost his life! It was then that
she realized the significance of the words: "The
evil you do remains with you: The good you do,
comes back to you!" Do good and; Don't ever
stop doing good, even if it’s not appreciated at
that time.
and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept
the extra bread on the Window-sill, for
whosoever
would take it away. Everyday, a hunch-back
came and took away the bread. Instead of
expressing gratitude, he muttered the following
words as he went his way: "The evil you do
remains with you: The good you do, comes back
to you!" This went on, day after day. Everyday,
the hunch-back came, picked up the bread and
uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains
with
you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The
woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude,"
she said to herself... "Everyday this hunch-back
utters this jingle! What does he mean? "One day,
out of despiration, she decided to do away with
him. "I shall get rid of this hunch-back," she
said. And what did she do? She added poison to
the bread she prepared for him! As she was
about to keep it on the window sill, her hands
trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said.
Immediately she threw the bread into the fire,
prepared another one and kept it on the
window-
sill. As usual, the hunch-back came, picked up
the bread and muttered the words: "The evil you
do, remains with you: The good you do, comes
back to you!" The hunch-back proceeded on his
way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the
mind of the woman. Everyday, as the woman
placed the bread on the window-sill, she offered
a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant
place to seek his fortune. For many months, she
had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe
return. That evening, there was a knock on the
door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find
her son standing in the doorway.. He had grown
thin and lean. His garments were tattered and
torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he
saw his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm
here. While I was but a mile away, I was so
hungry that I collapsed. I would have died, but
just then an old hunch-back passed by. I begged
of him for a small part of his food, and he was
kind enough to give me whole bread. "As he
gave it to me, he said, "This is what I eat
everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your
need is greater than mine!" "As the mother heard
those words, her face turned pale and red. She
leaned against the door for support. She
remembered the poisoned bread that she had
made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the
fire, it would have been eaten by her own son,
and he would have lost his life! It was then that
she realized the significance of the words: "The
evil you do remains with you: The good you do,
comes back to you!" Do good and; Don't ever
stop doing good, even if it’s not appreciated at
that time.
THIS CAN HELP YOUR RELATIONSHIP GROW
I Can't Say Sorry for Nothing...
Son: Dad, I want to get married
Dad: First, tell me you are sorry
Son: For what?
Dad: Say sorry
Son: But for what? What did I do?
Dad: Just say sorry
Son: But...What have I done wrong?
Dad: I said, say sorry
Son: Why???
Dad: Say Sorry!!
Son: Please... Just tell me why?!
Dad: Say sorry...
Son: OK Dad, I am sorry
Dad: Uhun... you've just qualified for marriage.
When you learn to say sorry for no reason at all,
then you are ready to get married!
I can never forget this, It was in Rev Omar Pela's
church.
He told a story of how on a particular morning,
his wife stormed into the room with a moody
look on her face.. Being a gentleman, he asked,
sweetheart what's wrong? She said, nothing!
(you know when a lady tells you...nothing. irk!).
So he impressed further, You don't sound fine
dear... She replied, I said I'm fine! He said at
that moment he tried to replay in his head, if
there was any misunderstanding previously... He
couldn't remember any. So, not to cause any
tension at home, he decided to continue his
study in church office...
As he picked the car keys to leave, the wife
blurted.. So you are going to leave without
showing concern or care.
He said at that point he was angry and
shouted... Did I not ask you? What else do you
want me to do... So he slammed the door and
left.
On getting to the car downstairs about to start
the car... The Holy spirit asked him, if someone
passes by now and mistakenly hit his leg on a
stone, what would you say? He replied, I will tell
the person sorry. The Holy spirit asked again, did
you cause the person to hit his leg on the stone?
He said no! Then why would you say sorry for
what you didn't cause?...
He said instantly he got the message the Holy
spirit was trying to pass across... that you don't
have to be the cause to say sorry. So he got
back upstairs, his wife looking at him angrily...
Then he said, sweetheart I'm sorry...
She just wrapped her arm around him and sobs.
What a wonder! He said he was left speechless
and wondering..
Dear friends, stop justifying yourself. Can you
just tell him/her you are sorry even if it was
your
partner's fault? I am sorry can make that
relationship work!
Son: Dad, I want to get married
Dad: First, tell me you are sorry
Son: For what?
Dad: Say sorry
Son: But for what? What did I do?
Dad: Just say sorry
Son: But...What have I done wrong?
Dad: I said, say sorry
Son: Why???
Dad: Say Sorry!!
Son: Please... Just tell me why?!
Dad: Say sorry...
Son: OK Dad, I am sorry
Dad: Uhun... you've just qualified for marriage.
When you learn to say sorry for no reason at all,
then you are ready to get married!
I can never forget this, It was in Rev Omar Pela's
church.
He told a story of how on a particular morning,
his wife stormed into the room with a moody
look on her face.. Being a gentleman, he asked,
sweetheart what's wrong? She said, nothing!
(you know when a lady tells you...nothing. irk!).
So he impressed further, You don't sound fine
dear... She replied, I said I'm fine! He said at
that moment he tried to replay in his head, if
there was any misunderstanding previously... He
couldn't remember any. So, not to cause any
tension at home, he decided to continue his
study in church office...
As he picked the car keys to leave, the wife
blurted.. So you are going to leave without
showing concern or care.
He said at that point he was angry and
shouted... Did I not ask you? What else do you
want me to do... So he slammed the door and
left.
On getting to the car downstairs about to start
the car... The Holy spirit asked him, if someone
passes by now and mistakenly hit his leg on a
stone, what would you say? He replied, I will tell
the person sorry. The Holy spirit asked again, did
you cause the person to hit his leg on the stone?
He said no! Then why would you say sorry for
what you didn't cause?...
He said instantly he got the message the Holy
spirit was trying to pass across... that you don't
have to be the cause to say sorry. So he got
back upstairs, his wife looking at him angrily...
Then he said, sweetheart I'm sorry...
She just wrapped her arm around him and sobs.
What a wonder! He said he was left speechless
and wondering..
Dear friends, stop justifying yourself. Can you
just tell him/her you are sorry even if it was
your
partner's fault? I am sorry can make that
relationship work!
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